Sunday, November 27, 2005
Title__*::someday......

someday it will get better will it? someday i will be able to adapt...someday i will be able to accept. someday u all will come back to me. wont it? i still believe u still care. i firmly believe that. just that u may not always be able to be there.

now i need faith...i need God to fill my heart, to fill your place. to fill the gaping hole thats left. all along i've been wrong haven't i? i should not have placed u so high on my priority list to the extent that i think about u more than i think about God... now i must reprioritize everything. the way that it should have been. i've been wrong i admit. but that doesnt lessen the sadness. perhaps it's a good thing now that u are temporarily (hopefully temporary) unable to be there, so that i can now spend more time with God and get things right first.

i do understand..i do know..u have your reasons. just that i feel so lost. like i've lost my direction, like i've lost my backing. i used to tell u all my problems. now i cant. perhaps it's a good thing really. really. now i can tell God.. i always told God before i told u, but i relied more on u for comfort and support and encouragement. now i have to look for God. no other way out. and it's a good thing for me and also a good thing for u.

i wont try to pressure u into coming back. never. never to do anything that will make u unhappy. i can only give u support by ur side. to bring an occasional smile on your face. may God be with u and bring u through whatever u are going through, may God give u wisdom and righteousness from above, and courage to walk in righteousness with Him. God will bring u through.

just that i miss u quite a bit. ok not a bit. a bit more than a bit. ok. alot. but how can i think of u so much? how do i not miss u? u will come back someday, will u? can u say u will? u will, wont u?

someday........

Saturday, November 26, 2005
Title__*::miss

how do i get over whatever i want to get over? how do i re-prioritize my priorities? how do i get on with a hole in my life? are the past memories to remain memories for always? will things never be the same again?

Friday, November 18, 2005
Title__*::Wonderful Day!! =)

on 16 November 2005, Peijiajia, SereneY, Mrs Mousey Mouses, Xiantipedee, Mosie Joes and me went to Parkway Parade for lunch and shopping! Looney Tunes is the only one who didnt go.

haha we had our lunch at around 3pm, and it was a GREAT lunch!! we bought 6 plates of different food and we shared all the food! haha it's really like a family dinner, only that Looney is not here. we talked alot too! w noticed that nowadays our conversations seemed to gravitate towards the deeper side of life, and we talked about topics like "was man born good or bad?", "should u say what u feel or what u ought to say?" etc. but it's still really interesting and filled with laughter! we talked alot about laughter too. and it's actually scientifically proven that happier people are healthier, cos they produce less of the hormones causing type II diabetes and high-blood pressure.

we also bought rings at Parkway, and also shopped and talked. too bad Pei-a-jiajia had to leave early. on the way home, on the bus, guess WHAT!!!! we came up with a NEW GROUP NAME!!!! haha and guess what, we are now called ONE WEEK instead of Lucky 7. haha it's just so fun! haha when we all gather and talk, there's no end of ideas we can come up with!

haha so Phyllisy is actually called Monday Mouse, Pj is Tuesday Wu, im Wednesday Wing, Lolly is Thursday Tay, Surferinas is Friday Oh, Xianti is Saturday Lin(but mozee changed it to Husi or something), and Mosee Mos was Sunday Tan. haha but not everyone's names were as matching as Monday Mouse, Wednesday Wing or Thursday Tay, so we decided to just stick to the days itself. haha it was just hilarious! what a fantastic bunch of friends i have =D.

we also took a photo of our sports shoes, and we aligned our shoes in a star shape, and sereney took a photo. but i cant post the photo here as i cant transfer it from my phone to the com. haha it's just so nice!!

it's a WONDERFUL DAY!!

and tml we're going to Lolly's church for a welcome party or something, YEAH!

Sunday, November 13, 2005
Title__*::Hotel Rwanda

feeling quite disturbed..in fact very disturbed... watched the movie Hotel Rwanda today. it just shocked me back into reality once again.

its about a civil war in Africa, Kigali in 1994, between the Hutus and Tutsis. the Belgians were the ones who differentiated them. they picked people, and the ones with the lighter skins were called Tutsis and the rest were Hutus. when the Belgians were in power, the Tutsis mistreated the Hutus i think, and now its the time for Hutus to take revenge.

its just terrible..massacres..genocide.. dead bodies everywhere.. haiz i cant get used to it even after watching 2 war films. it's just so terrible..they were all Blacks.. people killing each other.. hatred in the air..tension everywhere...people living in fear... just a few gunshots and u're down. dead. just like that. sometimes im just so shocked..and i have to be reminded again that this is a fallen world...people sin... people die because people kill one another... even children are killed..Tutsi children. the Hutus wanted to wipe out the next generation of Tutsis. even children.......they're just children... they call it ethnic cleansing.

and at that time, there was very little foreign intervention and very few countries took notice as Africa had very little political power..not worth helping. so the Africans were just abandoned and left to fend for themselves. if i rmb correctly, i think abt 1 million corpses were left behind..

so the show is about this man, Paul something(cant rmb his full name), who's a hotel manager, and he tries to save the Tutsis by letting them stay in the hotel. it's a true story, there's really such a man.

it's just a terrible scenario...but yet it's so true.. we cant just ignore the fact that these kind of things are happening all around us..we cant just escape from reality.. well in short, this movie highlights the importance of saving lives, and do whatever we can to help. this Paul highlighted the compassionate use of wealth. he used all his wealth to exchange for the lives of the Tutsis, and valued life more than money. he's a Christian, unsurprisingly. yep...money is but temporal..we should work towards the eternal things eh?

i dont know what to say now... so now what should we do? what can we do? i dont know how to conclude. im just face to face with reality now, and i dont know what to say. if these kinds of things happen, what can we do? what are the practical actions that we can take? i dont know... i dont know.... haiz..this is a fallen world..so what can we Christians do about it? what's our role in this world? dont be a cynic..but dont be an idealist too.

Saturday, November 12, 2005
Title__*::Batman Begins

it's holidays!
ok, its holidays.
wOW, holidays!
ok, it's just holidays. no big deal..

im just too glad that my op is finally finally finally over ovER OVER!! haha i felt exactly like Mrs Mouses after her op. it seems abit late to write about my op now, now that so many days has already passed. but i must give thanks to God for helping me through the whole of this JC1 year, and helping me through my PW.. finally it's over!

haha and a note to ememe, june babies are indeed june babies! both our teachers had to rephrase their qns for us during q&a, and we both went to do the filing thing. high 5^!

actually i've got something to share with u all.. its about movies. i went for this movie class at my church, and they'll show us movies and after that we'll discuss about the christian themes in it. i watched Batman Begins last week, and questions like 'What is Justice?', 'What's the difference between Revenge and Justice?', 'Idealist VS Realist?'--> the main character in the movie, Batman, was intent on saving that city. he wanted to save that city, and he believed he could. was he an idealist?

actually he's not. he's a realist. the difference is that he is willing to pay the price. yep, that makes all the difference. and Revenge vs Justice..the difference is COMPASSION. as said in the movie, 'your compassion is what your enemies do not have'-->'it's what separates us from them!'. there's compassion in justice. have mercy! a quote from the Bible: 'because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyway who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!" James 2:13. and Jesus Christ showed the greatest example of mercy to us when He died on the cross for our sins!

and by the way, Batman Begins is like how Abraham interceded for Sodom and Gomorrah! (Genesis 18:16-33) he interceded from 50 to 45 to 40 to 30 to 20 to 10. if there were 10 righteous people in the city, God promised not to destroy it. and also like the city of Nineveh(Jonah), God still had mercy on these people, and sent people to preach to them!

yep conclusion..have MERCY on people! Mercy triumphs over judgment!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Title__*::first baking attempt..all my myself!

haha perhaps many people would already have had their first baking attempt all by themselves, but for me, this morning was the first try! in the past during home econs, there was always a partner doing it with me, and at home, my mother and sisters would help out too, so it was never an all-by-myself try. but now, YEAH! look at my masterpieces =).

haha the plates at the back are supposed to be muffins, but the oven got abit stuck, and the timer didnt work, so i think i over-baked it, so now its not exactly soft and 'mouth-wateringly' nice. but the plate at the front contains peacan balls, and it's quite yummy, just that perhaps its too sweet. but sweet people should eat sweet things right? haha =). the white powdery thing is sugar powder. i put the white sugar into that machine that grinds things to powder (im not sure whats the name of the machine). haha but anyway, YEAH!

haha i shall now go and take another bite of my yummy masterpieces, cyA!

Saturday, November 05, 2005
Title__*::MoJo's birthday =)

heYa! to all those who have been waiting for me to put up a new post, here's one finally =). actually i did type a new entry some days ago, but after typing that huge chunk of words, my com hung..so everything's lost.

but anyway, i wanted to talk about mozie's birthday, and so here it is! WE. WENT. KBOX.!!!!!!!!!! haha and we sang for 5 hours, from 2.30 to 7.30. it was so super fun, with everyone so enthu YEAH! especially to the Lucky 7, let me take this chance to tell u that u all are a bunch of GREAT friends! and i can open myself up to u all and i dare to sing only in front of u all. haha i didnt even sing in front of my cousins. haha all of us got a chance to sing solo, and it's a real treat to hear their voices, especially mousey mouses'. peijiajia sang, and all of us even stood up and sang with all our might haha, led by sereney. haha lolly is such a lollipop! even her voice sounds like a lollipop haha! =P

and XiaNti, ur chocolate brownies are super yummidelicious! u're always so sweet to do these sweetie things for us.

at 5, the birthday cake came, so we sang the birthday song and mosee joes made a wish!

and after the kbox session we went Mac, and stayed there till 10+ to discuss our holiday plans. haha and we took photos using the camera frames, and it was really so funny! it's a GREAT day =).

a note to JoSieRsErpHeRiiSticA deE Dee : NICE BAG! =D